Alrighty, this is just a bunch of random things I wrote down while being pissed off in Calculus. I hope no one takes an offense to them, because hey, this is what I do when I'm upset.
Ok, so lately I thing I've been pissing some people off and for once, I don't care. I'm pretty sure that lately I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. When I go talk to any of my "friends" it feels like at least one person doesn't want me there. I don't feel like I can be myself except around a select few people, and they're never together.
It's like I have to choose friends. I really don't want to do that. Basically I give up.
Problem two, I wanna know what the hell is wrong with me. You know lately that's really been bugging me. It frustrates me because my doctor keeps brushing it off saying it's not important. Sorry but to me it is important that I know what's causing it. The actual lumps have shrunk, but I can still feel them. It hurts like hell to do physical activity. I don't want to think that I'm getting worse, but I'm scared that I could be. My mom keeps saying she's worried, but then she forgets about it until I'm in pain again.
I really can't wait till next year. I'll be able to make new friends, and there's no way in hell that I;m gonna make friends that aren't going to deal with who I am.
For the last month or so, I really rhought I was feeling better. I was less depressed and even thought I was happy. I wasn't doing bad at all, but apparently I just got so good at hiding it, I even hid it from myself ..