Right, so according to my mom I'm a fucking disappointment again. I can't do anything right and apparantly I screwed up life for my whole family. What the hell. As of now I guess I'm on my own. She won't buy my laptop anymore, so I guess I'm not getting one because God knows I don't have the money. She freaked out at me for my stupid job not giving me hours, IT'S NOT MY FAULT. It's not like I asked for them to not give me any. I want the freaking money just as badly as they want me to have it? Do they think I don't want money next year? I'm sorry that I can't be perfect, that I couldn't work during the school year cuz it stressed me out, that when I did have a job that it closed. I'm sorry that I can't control who I am, or that I can't be magically straight again. It might have worked for you, but it doesn't work that way for the rest of us mom. I am who I am, and I'm damn proud of it, and I'm not going to go and change that just because you don't like it. I'm sorry that even though I have to leave in the fall that I don't want to. You think I wanna stay here with you? You're badly mistaken, but as badly as this damn town has treated me all my life, there's still people and places I'm going to miss, and yes, I am gonna want to come home and see them, even if you don't want me in your stupid house anymore. All my life I wanted to make you proud of me, even if it meant I grew up too fast, moved out, put so much effort into things that it hurt. It's you who drove me start drinking when I was twelve .. TWELVE mom, and thanks to you, I started drugs when I was only 14. Even then I knew that you didn't want me here, and neother did the rest of the world. Thanks to you, I'm not even me anymore. None of the things I'd dreamed of for myself have happened, except for the fact that I met the person of my dreams, and do you know what, I'm not sorry it's not a guy. I found love like you never could, and I know that. I'm proud of myself, and I'm damn proud of her, and who she is, and I don't care what you think. I know that I'm stronger than you, smarter than you and a better person than you. Unlike you, I'm proud of who I am, not hiding it, and I quit all my "addictive behaviours", You still have yours. I am who I am today, no thanks to you. You may have changed who I am, but you definitely never helped along the way ..