Well Then .. Quiet Is A Good Thing Right?So .. I think I might actually be in the clear. See, some of you know that the other day during a heated argument with my mother .. Certain things that should never have been told to her might of just .. Slipped out .. Oops. Since then I've spent a lot of time waiting for the dreaded time that either she or my father would decide to FREAK OUT. Surprisingly, I've been home for 2 days straight, and DUN DUN DUN, nothing has been said. Totally a good thing. I'm assuming that this means that they're ok with it, I mean in the past when things have happened they didn't like, I heard about it. A lot. And they haven't said anything. And, Well, I guess that they finally came to terms with my not being straight? Thank God, because there was no way I could deal with it any longer! Anyways, enough my of my ramblings, as usual this probably doesn't make sense.
Oh yeah and .. Da Vinci Code tomorrow, Finally! Can't wait! :o) ..
Jessica and I's Crazy Post Of Death ..Alrighty, so in the attempts of trying to add Jessica and Danielle's names to my friends, we seem to have encountered a small problem. They don't wanna show up for some reason, and according to Mallory they might showup if we post, so EVIL POST OF DEATH .. Here you go Jessica ..
hi everyone, i'm typing on Kaitlyn's blog bahahahahaha......... kitty smells!!!! lol i smell soup........hey Mal they pulled a weehoo!!!! This is crazy fun... they have no idea what they/ve unleashed on the world!!! Muahahahahahahaha.......I rule ........ but i'm not crazy, I promise...... lalalalalalalalalala. Compared to me you're sane..... I heart you all lol except Megan........ peace.
Alrighty guys, I apologize for this but it had to be done ..
Avoid This .. Never .. *Shifty Eyes*Alrighty guys, so I might be avoiding posting actual things in here, but only for a little while. Honestly, I don't know much of what's going on right now and I wouldn't want to confuse all of you. So just be patient, and someday, soon I promise, I'll update with real news. Mmhmm, that's right, I will update .. I'll keep telling myself that ..
Life Ain't Always Beautiful
Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggle makes you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin' it sweet time
[chorus]
No,life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
Life aint always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles
And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life dont work that way
But the struggles makes me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin' its sweet time
No, life aint always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life aint always beautiful
But its a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride
*Yes guys, once again I am being cool enough to post song lyrics :P, Basically, Deal with it lol .. These ones are by Gary Allan!*
Good Day :)Wow, despite the whole PAL tennis factor, I actually managed to have a kickass day today. It's been one of the first in a long time. Pretty much, my classes all went good, firedrill in Calculus = very good thing (Yes the firedrills are still following me from the ABF!), Jeez I even got some good news today, which some of you know about, and if you don't there's probably a good reason for that. Anyways, I'm going to go enjoy my good mood that will probably not last long anyway:)
Random Rambles ..Alrighty, this is just a bunch of random things I wrote down while being pissed off in Calculus. I hope no one takes an offense to them, because hey, this is what I do when I'm upset.
Ok, so lately I thing I've been pissing some people off and for once, I don't care. I'm pretty sure that lately I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. When I go talk to any of my "friends" it feels like at least one person doesn't want me there. I don't feel like I can be myself except around a select few people, and they're never together.
It's like I have to choose friends. I really don't want to do that. Basically I give up.
Problem two, I wanna know what the hell is wrong with me. You know lately that's really been bugging me. It frustrates me because my doctor keeps brushing it off saying it's not important. Sorry but to me it is important that I know what's causing it. The actual lumps have shrunk, but I can still feel them. It hurts like hell to do physical activity. I don't want to think that I'm getting worse, but I'm scared that I could be. My mom keeps saying she's worried, but then she forgets about it until I'm in pain again.
I really can't wait till next year. I'll be able to make new friends, and there's no way in hell that I;m gonna make friends that aren't going to deal with who I am.
For the last month or so, I really rhought I was feeling better. I was less depressed and even thought I was happy. I wasn't doing bad at all, but apparently I just got so good at hiding it, I even hid it from myself ..
RollercoasteringWow, lately I haven't been able to control my emotions at all. It's like no matter what I do I'm not feeling how I should. One minute, I'm fine and laughing and carrying on with friends, next I'm having a panic attack! Like today, all afternoon I had a ball with Sam, Carter and Marya, but then after I got out of Sam's car I had like a panic attack. Like right now I'm shaking so hard I can barely breathe. Jesus, I need my meds back, or to be better. That would be nice ..
Par-Tay lolSo today was totally my birthday party, which like no one came to but hey the people who did, we had a sweet ass time! We hung around and watched some movies and ate lots of pizza and ice cream cake, which then we forgot about and it melted like crazy, but that was just funny lol. A bunch of people left early, but the four of us left stuck around till almost seven talking about how Jesus Loves The Homos! Lol, oh I love inside jokes :). Then Corey, Diane, Elaina and I went to Tim Hortons and pretty much that was it. Gist of the story, lots of gay/bi people together = fun :). Anyways, not much to update besides that, so see you guys tomorrow!
We Got Gold Baby!So after the most boring Halifax trip ever, we came out with another gold of course. We always do. Five flights of stairs 3 or 4 times though is very evil. Fire alarms are evil too. Everywhere we went they kept getting set off. Totally not cool. I hate flashing lights and loud sounds at the same. Reminds me of thunder and lightning. Gross. Eww. Never again. Anyways, just a real quick update, so ttyl!
Happy Birthday To Me .. But How Many More?Wow guys, another birthday. Eighteen sounds, old. I mean it sounds young, and old. I don't know. I know I'm terrified to know if I'll make it to my nineteenth, but I'm not gonna go there today. So new pretty layout:). I even fixed it all by myself! :) I = Proud of myself! I like it, it's a little plain, but I don't need something big and extravagent anyway right? Anyways, just a quick birthday post I guess ..
No More Hospitals Please! :'(Riight, so sorry to the whole two people who read this for neglecting it. Lately I've just been grumpy again. Pretty much, the growths are back. We really thought they were gone. We even waited for a while before making it official, and as soon as I think I'm fine, I'm in pain again. After the little bit I did in PAL today my legs hurt a lot. I can feel where they're going to come back in, and then by the end of the day carrying around my huge bookbag my right one hurt so much I could almost cry. I'm getting sick of this. I had to start pain killers again the other day. They're not really agreeing with me, I mean I don't like being on so many, they don't really mix well. Really, between scholarship junk, the death sickness, and calculus, I'm starting to get lost in myself, and with how bad my legs are getting, I'm starting to get more worried everyday. It's got to be something serious by now. I'm actually terrified that I'm going to get sick and in the hospital or die. Die. That sounds so scary. If I have to go to one more hospital I might just give up. I'm not even kidding. I'm sick of it. I can't deal with all the fucking stress of being sick anymore. Like seriously, Note to Kaitlyn's body : TELL HER IF YOU'RE DYING ALREADY!!!
